(I stole this idea to Momus)
(But now it's mine)
This was written in 1997. Now things have become a bit more professionnal.
The music
Take your acoustic guitar or your electric guitar unplugged (too lazy
to switch the amp on). If it's slightly untuned, don't try to tune it
at ear: it'll be worse... If it's really untuned, use your computer
guitar tuner soft, because you lost your 3rd guitar tuner last time
you rehearsed with Mumbly. Play it... Play whatever (easy) chord that
comes to your mind... If, at a moment, you think that 2, 3 or 4 chords
suit well together, keep them. Then try to find other chords for the
bridge or chorus -some of these chords maybe the same... If you can't
find any: maybe 4 chords in loop can sound great (play these chords
during 3 minutes to see if it's not too boring)... Or you can leave
your guitar, & come back later with your bass to try to find some other
notes... At this time, you should have an idea for a vocal tune in mind.
Don't sing it loud, because you really can't sing... Just try to remember
the tune... Should be simple yet effective -as the guitar chords!-.
The lyrics
Maybe you wrote some last time in the subway, maybe they would be ok
for this song.. You can pick some lines in a Felt song if you like.
Take your time to write them, they must come by themselves, & it mustn't
take more than 40 mn to write them. 3 or 4 verses will be enough, noone
read long lyrics, they're boring (anyway, no one reads lyrics -too bad-).
Once you've written them on a small sheet of paper, leave it for a couple
of days... Next time you want to read them, it'll take 20 minutes to
find them on your stormy desk.. Maybe you'll like them (then type then
on your PC, but keep the sheet as a relic, you'll be happy to read it
again in 5 years), maybe you won't like them (if yes, you may send them
into the bin).
The recording
Try to find a simple but good drum beat on your computer, using a sequencer
& some sampled drums sounds. If the song must sound very pop (but it
always has to anyway), you will sometimes write a "true" rhythm, with
kitsch drums rolls, crash hits, etc. When you just don't know how the
song will sound like, if there will be a farfisa or a guitar solo or
nothing at all at the end, or if you have not written the lyrics yet,
just make a drum loop that last 4 minutes or more (when the song isn't
very fast): most of watoo watoo songs last between 2 & 3 minutes, so
you can fade out at the end. Sometimes use no drums because there's
no need. If the rhythm guitar part is easy (no difficult chords changes),
record it with a good sound: a lot of treble, a bit of bass, a bit of
boss chorus -it must be clear, sharp, but soft-. If it's difficult,
record it fast -a friend of yours will play the guitar for you-. Then
record the bass -there is only ONE (ok, two) good bass sound in the
world: the one I get with my Fender 1969 Jazz Bass (round, rich & lush,
but strong). Recording the bass will be the easiest thing. You can record
guitar patterns & solo (on one string, sometimes two -make them sound
like the Feelies or Galaxy 500, they're easy to imitate; try to make
them melodic) before or after the bass. You can add Farfisa (or now
Korg synth) at the end to make nice harmonies, to keep the chord on
two notes, or even for simple solos or patterns. Use the "punch in"
function on your 8 tracks, because you're unable to play the keyboard
correctly. Never play with your both hands: you can't; if needed record
left hand on a track, right hand on another one (it'll be in stereo,
& you can change the volume when mixing). Then go & see or call a friend
guitarist (if not already done) who'll eventually play the rhythm guitar
(tell him how he must play it) & most often some arpeggios (let him
do what he wants, but control anyway). You'll use the guitar sound you
want. All these things should take between 3 & 7 hours, never more.
Remember that at this time, the song has never been sung. Let your wife
know a couple of weeks before you want to record that she'll soon have
to sing. She'll say "I'm tired", "I have a cold", "I don't like your
songs"...Never mind, ask again. Do the vacuum-cleaner, clean the house
before recording: it'll make her happy, so it'll be easier to record.
The day when she sings, she'll surely have a cold -never mind-. Try
to record 2 or 3 songs in the same evening/morning, not to lose too
much time. She'll surely throw the headphones on the ground when you
ask her to repeat verse 2 because she is out of tune, or because you
forgot to push the record button. Maybe you'll have to make her a tea.
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